


Unloveable

by onoheiwa



Category: xxxHoLic
Genre: Ambiguous Relationships, Annoying Watanuki, Gen, Implied Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 19:23:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6718588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onoheiwa/pseuds/onoheiwa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the writing prompt: "name three unloveable things you quite like." </p><p>Watanuki is sometimes not a lovable person</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unloveable

**Author's Note:**

> I proofread this myself, so any mistakes are mine; I have no beta! 
> 
> Also, this is my first fic for this pair which is why I chose to stay away from dialogue. Plus, this was just the first idea that came to me. I tried to write it in a way that leaves it a little open-ended as to what kind of a relationship the two have and how they feel about each other, specifically how Doumeki feels about Watanuki. I think the manga does seem to imply some things, but I think much of that is just the non-Japanese perspective many of us have. Platonic relationships between people of the same gender are, I think, looked at and conveyed with more openness and fondness than they are where I am from. That's not to say I don't ship it, because I kind of do, but I also think if we're talking about vague implications than the later part of the manga also alludes to Watanuki and Yuuko, if a little less so than it does with Doumeki. But that's just what I think.

  1. Volume



Watanuki was loud. So loud, in fact, that it was a rare day that Shizuka ended it without having to stick a finger in his ear to drown out the shrieking. Watanuki seemed to be under the impression that no one, Doumeki especially, would actually understand his feelings unless they were given at decibels too numerous to count and accompanied by a dramatic flailing of limbs in a manner that would have been embarrassing for anyone else if caught moving so bizarrely. Shizuka was honestly surprised that no fellow students or neighbors, or even passing strangers on the streets, had never complained about the caterwauling, the pair only ever receiving odd looks and a handful of glares on rare occasions.

Shizuka’s home had always been rather quiet, it being the home to temple keepers. His grandfather had always been calm and soft-spoken, gentle in manner and in the tone of his voice. His father had inherited that trait, his deep baritone rumbling softly through the air and traveling clearly through the meandering halls and paper screens, audible whole rooms away but never obtrusive. The older Doumeki had found a sweet, cheerful woman to be his bride, a kind and caring woman who presented a sharp contrast to his own dry wit and teasing jokes. Shizuka had inherited the quiet awareness of the feelings of others from his mother, but not her ready smiles and giggles, not her expressive face or words. Shizuka took after his father, bland expression, sarcastic humor, low rumble and all. His home had been warm and loving and so very quiet in a welcoming and calming way.

Maybe that was why Shizuka had found Watanuki so fascinating. The energetic boy reacted so dramatically and enthusiastically to everything, whether events evoked irritation or excitement, that he could not help but to be drawn toward someone so expressive, despite the excessively high volume at which Watanuki chose to convey his thoughts and feelings. Watanuki had strong opinions about just about everything and had no reservations about proclaiming them to everyone within earshot and even those outside what would be considered within the realm of possibility. If nothing else, Shizuka found him refreshing, a spark of energy and something different from the peaceful and reserved nature of Japan; Watanuki was unique at the very least and something very special at best, if those words could even begin to describe the boy accurately. Watanuki was loud and it was annoying more often than not, but sometimes Shizuka watched him shout and dance around and admired him for his brazenness with a smile in his heart, if not on his face.

 

  1. Complaining



If dictionaries had pictures, Shizuka was sure there would be one of Watanuki, his brow furrowed and his mouth opened wide with a protest half-formed, right next to the word “Complaining.” It was like an endless river that stretched on beyond site of the horizon, a wildly rushing torrent that crashed and swirled about, loudly drowning out the voices of anyone on its banks. Watanuki could be irritated by the smallest of infractions, infuriated and baffled in equal measures by the expressionless and sarcastic wall Doumeki presented and he never ceased in his whining about those flaws and mistakes.

Yuuko never seemed to mind, allowing the boy to insult her on a regular basis, making snide remarks about the state of the shop’s cleanliness, her drinking habits, the way she allowed Mokono and the girls to get away with anything, her bluntness with customers, the way she never answered questions directly, the list went on and on. Shizuka could not even begin to keep up with the problems Watanuki had with Yuuko, his workplace, or the inhabitants of the shop but apparently, despite his willingness to continue going there every day, he never failed to find something wrong with how they lived their lives and more than once he found himself having to tamp down on the urge to slap him or scold him for his rudeness to his employer.

It was not just Yuuko and Shizuka, either, but almost everyone and everything he came across, Watanuki found some character flaw in. Shizuka did not think Watanuki even realized how much he complained, though, it just came out of him. He supposed it was some sort of response the boy had developed from having been taught so well by his father. Watanuki had mentioned once or twice how it was his father who had instructed him on everything from cleaning to cooking to budgeting, how his mysterious and deceased parents had taught the boy from the moment he could understand their words how to take care of himself and to do it well and after so many years of experience and practice it was only to be expected that Watanuki excelled at household chores and responsibility in general. In a way, his complaining was a reflection of his great maturity, gained through the loss of his beloved parents and years spent on his own, however badly expressed that maturity may have been.

Watanuki was a perfectionist – he had been trained to do things properly and he followed through on those expectations his parents had placed on him and held everyone else to that high standard. Shizuka would never admit it out loud, but it was actually kind of nice to have someone hold him in high enough regard that it was simply expected that he would behave better or have healthier habits than he did. The other boy seemed to genuinely believe that everyone could be as energetic, responsible, and neat and organized as he was and remained oblivious to the fact that his scolding and complaining was never going to teach anyone because they simply could not be as put together as Watanuki was. So when he started once again with an angry monologue about this or that being stupid and everyone being ungrateful, Shizuka just took another sip of his sake and asked for tamagoyaki for dinner.

 

  1. Selfless



Shizuka could have made a fortune if he had received even a hundred yen for every time he had needed to step into the line of fire, so to speak, and pull Watanuki’s idiotic butt out of some other life-risking situation. The moron seemed oblivious to the fact that there was almost always another solution or option to the problems they found themselves in, almost always another method they could use to finish Yuuko’s missions for them in a way that would allow them both to come out unscathed, but the boy seemed to make it his own mission to come as close to death as possible at every turn.

Watanuki was not suicidal; it was, in fact, the exact opposite of that. Watanuki wanted to live desperately, wanted to keep going so that he could help as many people as possible, even if he spent the whole time grumbling about the inconvenience of it all. The problem was that in his line of work, or rather in Yuuko’s line of work, helping people usually involved extremely dangerous situations and characters and the worst of them always seemed to want a stab, often literally, at the shopkeeper’s young assistant. Even if they were not after Watanuki himself, the spirits or mystical creatures always seemed to have a vendetta against the shop’s customers and Watanuki seemed to be under the impression that it was his responsibility to protect them all and any damage to his own person was apparently irrelevant. He walked into one life-threatening situation after another, his stupidly blue eyes ignoring the danger around him that even Shizuka could see, even before the two of them shared an eye.

Sometimes Shizuka hated everyone – Yuuko, Kunogi, the Ame-warashi, and all the spirits – all for putting Watanuki in danger so often, even if it was usually unintentional. Over and over again Shizuka had to remind himself that these people all cared about Watanuki in their own way and none of them ever wanted the boy to get hurt, even if it sometimes seemed they were not smart enough to keep it from happening. Over and over again Shizuka did what he could to protect the idiot from danger and take the worst of the blows when that was not possible, but no matter how many times he shook his head briefly and darted forward to drag the idiot away from another monster or spirit, no matter how many times he watched Watanuki bear the abuse from another tormentor of a customer, he could never forget the soft smile the boy had when someone’s wish was granted. Shizuka lived for the moments when Watanuki bled and hurt in the place of another with fire in his eyes and a determined set to his mouth. Shizuka hated that Watanuki always found some reason to put another’s wellbeing before his own, but the way it always seemed to make the idiot so happy when another person stayed safe made it worthwhile.

**Author's Note:**

> I used "Shizuka" instead of "Doumeki" since it is written from his perspective, even though it is not in first person. It seemed weird to refer to him by his family name when it is his mind that we're looking into and his eyes we're looking through.
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](onoheiwa.tumblr.com).


End file.
